Friday, January 30, 2009

Stressed out!

I work an a Licensed Practical Nurse in a nursing home. In July 2007 I left my job of 5 years to work at this new place where I can work three 12 hour shifts a week. I love having off 4 days a week & was perfectly happy. Yesterday the human resources called me to their office & said that me & another girl that hasn't been working there are long as me have to give up our 12 hour shifts because it is causing them problems with scheduling & things have to be cut back (with the economy being so bad). They said the only hours available are 3p-11p or 11p-7am. I have been working in nursing homes for 12 years & until I started the 12 hour shifts I worked 7am-3pm and they said that shift was not available. I physically can't work the other shifts, my body is up early in the morning & I get tired by 9pm...I'm more of a morning person. This got me soooo upset I couldn't stop crying! I'm not a crier & since being pregnant I had 3 crys for silly things & this was one of them. This couldn't be happening!! I've been saving my sick, vacation & all other time so when I go on maternity leave in 5ish - 6ish months I'll have some pay checks coming in for a couple weeks. If I wasn't pregnant I would just get a job elsewhere but no one is gonna hire someone that's gotta leave in a few months AND my insurance is really good so I need it for my prenatal care. This just can't be happening to me! I went with the Director or Nursing to human resources to talk about it. They said they would look to see if someone was hired after me that's working 7am-3pm and tell them they have to take the other shift but after asking around no one seems to know of anyone....I really don't think there is anyone.
I'm just so upset about this & it couldn't be happening at the worst time!

UPDATE 2/3/09: I was told they were not going to touch my hours. What a HUGE relief! That was really bothering me for days. If things will have to change, I really hope they keep things the same until after I go on maternity leave.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Is Diet Soda ok during pregnancy?

I LOVE soda. My favorite soda is Pepsi & I used to drink about a 2 liter bottle a day. Then in May 2008 when I started dieting to lose weight for my wedding in October 2008 I drank nothing but Diet Pepsi. I don't like coffee so that was caffeine fix. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped drinking Pepsi right away. I know we are allowed to have about 200mg of caffeine a day but I'd prefer trying to avoid it all together. I started drinking caffeine-free Diet Pepsi but then I started seeing that some artificial sweeteners are bad for the unborn baby. Since reading that I started drinking other caffeine-free sodas especially Sunkist Orange Soda & Sprite but they are full of calories. I know having too much carbonated drinks is not good to always have....I do drink a lot of water a day & juice but I need to have soda too.
So what I'm wondering it ok to drink Diet Sunkist Orange Soda, Diet Caffeine-free Pepsi or Diet Sprite when you're pregnant? I'd love to hear what you think, know or have read....

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Rambling. (14w5d)

Just some rambling about how I'm feeling right now.....
I just can't stop worrying & it just sucks. I just don't want to let myself get real excited about this. I just keep thinking something is gonna go wrong....either I will miscarry, have a baby with Downs Syndrome or something else...and that keeps me from thinking of me holding a little baby, looking at baby things & actually most of all making things for my baby. I like to sew & I've actually been selling my handmade things online for a couple years (I don't want to mention my store here because I wanna keep the entire world separate). I wanna start making a quilt or something but I'm just so worried that if I start I'll jinx something, and....I also wanna learn how to crochet a blanket (since I'm sitting my fat ass on the couch all the time anyway). Whether I quilt or crochet, I was thinking of starting with the inside as neutral colors (greens, yellows...) then after I find out the sex I can use boy or girl colors. Or if I quilt I can make a block a month with how I'm feeling at that moment, maybe embroider a little passage or something. I'm just so scared to start because I feel like something will go wrong. Part of me thinks that after the 18 week ultrasound I will calm down a I will find out if my baby will have some terrible disease or something at THAT ultrasound.
I am trying to be so good with everything else. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I quit smoking. I have smoked for 16+ years & have never tried quitting. Actually I never really have a thought to quit. Also caffeine....I drank probably a 2 liter of Pepsi (Diet Pepsi when I was dieting) a day. I don't drink coffee so this was my pep for the day. Now, I haven't had caffeine in ages, if I had 4 cans of caffeine soda this pregnancy so far that would be a lot. I drink 1.5 liter of water a day & maybe an Orange or Sprite soda each day since they are caffeine-free. A few friends of mine, with one in particular, that was pregnant did whatever she wanted with both pregnancies. She smoked cigarettes, Newport's too, one of the strong brands (that's what I smoked for 16 years). She drank Pepsi, coffee, ate fish & whatever else she wanted. Both her kids came out fine....actually the 1st was a preemie so not 100% fine but he's fine now (you'd think she would have been better with the 2nd pregnancy!). She said that she knew people that did everything right & their baby was sick and other people that didn't listen to any of the rules & their baby was fine. She thinks if you are gonna have a sick baby, you are gonna have a sick baby, no matter what. I also knew a bunch of other people that smoked through their pregnancy's & their baby's were all fine. I totally think they are all completely wrong. Of course the devil sneaks in & says "well their baby was fine". I think that 9 (actually 10) months is such a small amount of time to make sure that my child will be ok for the rest of their life. Imagine if I continued to smoke then my child ends up with asthma or ADD & I knew I did it. I screwed up my child's life forever because I was so selfish that I couldn't stop smoking for 9 little months. Maybe I just feel this way because I was actually able to stop. Quitting smoking is supposed to be harder than drugs. I guess I'm just lucky I was able to stop smoking because I know drugs was definitely NOT an easy thing to give up and they were totally screwing up my life!
I guess worrying is kinda normal for pregnant women...maybe not to the extent I'm worrying. I just hope that in a few weeks I go for the ultrasound, the heartbeat is still normal, they tell me everything is fine and not that there is a 1% chance my baby will have Downs or something....if I get that 1% chance I will FREAK the entire time even tho 1% is nothing. I hope I will start to "enjoy" my pregnancy like I hear other women say they do or did. I just wanna stop worrying!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Baby Names books

Today while we had 2 hours to kill while waiting for our big dog to have her bath at Petsmart we went into Barnes & Nobile. I went to the pregnancy section, of course, and was looking through baby names books. We have a few names for boys & girls because I have an application on my iPhone called "iPregnancy" & it has a thousand boy & a thousand girl names.
See screenshot...

It's awesome to have on my cell phone so when I'm bored I can add it to my list

But it doesn't have the nationality or meaning of the name....that's kinda important to me. So while in Barnes & Nobile I compared books with each other. I looked at some of the names we were thinking of with one name in particular "Kayla". In one book it said it was an Arabic, Hebrew name & in the other it said English & Irish.

The 2 books I was looking in were Bruce Lansky "60,000+ Baby Names"(bottom with black writing) and the other was June Rifkin "The Everything Baby Names Book" (top with pink writing).

I find it kinda strange that baby names books have it different in each one. I understand that different countries may use the name but then mention them next to the name saying it's popular with A B & C. Now when I searched the Internet I found on Wikipedia that the name is Greek. This is kinda annoying. Maybe I'm expecting too much from a names book...maybe there is no one meaning for a name...maybe these books are for just pure fun, who knows. It makes me wonder where the writers are getting their information from.

Are there any good baby name books out there where the meaning of the name is correct? If so I'd love to know which one.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Name change?

I enjoy online blogging, twitter & the like. Some people keep a journal & write their thoughts down, I prefer typing on my blog or using Twitter. I have my sites named JDpregnancy but I'm starting to think I should change the name now since it's still early. It's a good name for now while I'm pregnant but if I continue to blog & such after the baby is born it won't make much sense.

Maybe I'm thinking too much into this? Maybe in a few months I'll be bored & not even do this anymore? But then what if I am? I'm not gonna wanna change the name months down the road because what if I meet lots of friends on the way.
I'd love to hear your opinions, see survey on the left.

UPDATE 1/25/09: I actually changed my mind after reading someone's blog. The person has a blog where she talks about family life & her child mainly because her family would like to read about what's going on in the kido's life. The things I talk about on here about my pregnancy I'd prefer it if NO ONE I knew read this because I don't want to hold back on what I'm feeling. I'm gonna keep this blog as is & just talk about my pregnancy. Thanks Sarcastica for your comment, that makes a lot of sense...I actually didn't read your comment until after I decided, lol!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Week 14 pregnant belly

I took a picture real quick of my 3 month pregnant belly with my iPhone. The picture isn't the best, I did it real quick while I was getting ready for work at 6 am (see my scrub pants, lol) & while looking in the mirror. I keep saying I will do it but then I forget so here it is....if I get a better one this weekend I will replace it but I doubt I will :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Weight gain- very depressed.

I've been feeling really depressed about my weight gain. I did write a short post before about gaining 11 pounds in 1 month but I'm gonna talk about it it more detail here.
Until almost 4 years ago I had a drug problem which lasted 10+ years. I'm not one of those people that can eat anything they wanted & stay skinny but for those 10 years I was very thin & eating pure crap...very unhealthy & most of the time not eating at all. So when I got clean 4 years ago I kept the same crappy eating habits but eating 3-4 meals plus the Twix, ice cream.... I started packing on the pounds--my thin days I was normally between 135-145 & in 3 years I gained about 30 lbs (I'm 5'8"). When my husband & I set a wedding day for October 2008 I had 5 months to lose weight because I hated the way I felt & looked, and wanted to look good in my wedding pictures. So I joined Weight Watchers in May 2008. By the middle of the summer I had lost the 30 lbs I wanted & was back to 140!! I felt sooo good & my body looked so much better at a healthy 140 than a junkie 140. As the wedding day got closer I started cheating here (mostly because of nerves) & then since the rehearsal dinner I ate whatever I wanted (& have been since). When I went on the cruise for the honeymoon there was food out all day so I ate, then when I came home I continued to not eat healthy. My scale had broke (no, not because of my weight, the glass cover cracked) so I didn't have anything to check myself with & days would just go by. This went on for about a month when then I found out I was pregnant. A couple days after I found out the great news I went for a doctors appointment where she weighed me & I was 150. So for about 5-6 weeks of not following Weight Watchers (between the wedding, cruise...) I had gained 10 lbs. That next month was the worst for me because it's when I quit smoking for the first time ever in the 16+ years I was smoking. I was eating candy like crazy & basically everything else I could put in my mouth besides cigarettes...I didn't want to smoke out my baby's bedroom. When I went back to the doctor's office the next month I weighted in at 161. This was VERY depressing for me because I was now almost back to my old weight. The doctor wasn't concerned because she said my weight will slow down, it's because of quitting smoking that I gained like that. That next month I didn't really change my eating habits by much, I really just stopped eating so much candy (blow pops, jolly ranchers...). I had also went & bought a new scale so I can watch my weight. Now I basically just eat 3 meals a day & desert. The meals aren't really healthy but they are filling so I don't have to pick all day...I have a bacon & egg sandwich in the morning...for lunch I eat a foot long turkey & cheese Subway sandwich or if I'm at work I have a grill cheese & fries (twice a week at most)...then dinner if I cook I have potatoes & bake some chicken or roast beef (if C-Town has the kind I like which is not often)...and for desert I have to have my Carvel ice cream (soft chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles). I know I'm not eating healthy & every day I say I have to go food shopping & get some healthy things but both hubby & I are the pickiest eaters in the world. So when I went back to the doctor a couple days ago for my monthly I had only gained 2 pounds weighing in at 163. I was so happy about that.
I do understand that when you have a baby you are gonna gain weight. I knew that while I was dieting before my wedding that we were gonna try and get pregnant right after the wedding & I was gonna gain weight. BUT I'm just mad at myself the way I gained the weight. The 1st trimester is when you are supposed to gain the least amount of weight (if any)...and in the 1st trimester I already gained half of what I should have gain during the *ENTIRE* pregnancy. I know there isn't anything I can do about it now, it's just that I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. I don't want to make plans with friends to do anything because I have nothing to wear & I don't want them to see me this fat! At least in a few weeks I start getting a belly bump & then I will look pregnant but as of now I just look like a fatso. I keep saying I will go get some new clothes from the maternity store, maybe that will make me feel better but instead I just sit on my fat butt & sulk. I have a 3 day weekend coming up so I'm planning on going shopping on Friday for a few items, lets hope I go.
I just had to vent :)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Monthly Appointment- 3rd month

Today I had my monthly ob/gyn appointment. She has one of those fetal monitors so we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat...that's definitely fun!! She said everything sounded good. Since I had the ultrasound the other day & they took a Maternal Serum Screening by putting drops of blood on paper, I asked her if she received the results. When looking at the paper she said everything looked good BUT the doctor from the ultrasound recommended I have genetic counseling. The reason she recommended is because I am currently on methadone maintenance which my doctor didn't understand because methadone maintenance doesn't cause a genetic problem. I guess I will just have to wait & see how things go with that.

The doctor gave me samples of a prenatal vitamin since Prenate Elite was discontinued. They are called CitraNatal Assure....I will give these a try & see how things go.

Monday, January 12, 2009

12 week ultrasound

Frank & I just got home from the 12 week ultrasound & it was truly AMAZING!!!! The baby was moving so much it was crazy. We could see his/her little arms & legs moving around, fingers & toes, s/he was bouncing around...I couldn't believe it! When there would be a pause & the sonographer wasn't moving around on my belly (like when she was typing in some information) it seemed like the baby would go back to sleep. When that happened the sonographer would push gently around on my stomach that would get the baby moving all around again, it was sooooo cool!! She did a bunch of measurements, saw the spine, nasal bone & said everything looked ok. Then counted the heartbeat at 154 which she said was good.

She gave me 2 pictures but I'm sure there were better ones. We really did see a lot today but the pictures we got don't really show much, especially the side profile. The front view is cool because you can actually see where the eyes are even tho s/he does look like a bug or alien, but s/he is MY bug or alien :)

Side profile

front view

The next ultrasound is in 6 weeks on February 23rd. I just can't believe how slooooow these days/weeks are going.

Twitter anyone?

I've started a new Twitter account & I'm looking for some moms to be to "follow". Could be fun!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Sore Breasts

As I'm sitting on the couch 11 weeks pregnant it dawned on me that my breasts don't hurt like they've been for the past 9 weeks. For a second I was very worried until I Googled & saw that it was completely normal. There are a ton of posts with women saying their breasts stopped hurting anywhere from week 9 to week 13. BUT, then they said the pain came back in the 3rd trimester, oh joy.

I swear, I don't know what I would do without Google!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Food changes....cheese

I'm soooo not a cheese person, I actually never ate cheese, especially American cheese, but lately I'm loving cheese....bacon, egg & cheese on a roll (which I never even used to like, actually hated!)...cheeseburgers...Turkey & cheese sandwich. I've read about this happening to pregnant women but since it's happening to me it's weird...I guess because I haven't really had many changes in my 11 weeks of pregnancy. Now my "thing" is cheddar cheese & crackers all because a patient's family member (I'm a nurse in a nursing home) brought a tray of cheese & crackers. So tonight while at the supermarket picking up dinner I had to get some, yum!